![\"\"](\"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/revive-relationship-300x227.jpg\" "\\"San")
Therapist Advice: Revive Your Relationship – 3 Things To Do<\/h2>\nTherapist Advice: Revive Your Relationship – 3 Things To Do<\/h2>\n1. Check-in \u2013<\/strong> Most people will agree that the heightened excitement in the beginning of a relationship eventually settles into a more comfortable intimacy as the \u201cnewness\u201d wears off. Once you reach that comfortable stage, relationships tend to go on autopilot. Energy is put into children, work, and social obligations instead of into each other. We tend to assume we know what our partner is thinking, what makes them happy, sad, and angry. Things change. People change. Do you like everything you did a year ago? Not necessarily and chances are your partner doesn\u2019t either. Without consistent check-ins, your relationship can suffer: you may feel disconnected from your partner or feel that your relationship is no longer fulfilling, and you\u2019re not quite sure how it got that way.<\/p>\n To do:<\/strong> TALK to your partner\u2014make them a priority.<\/strong> Take time to ask \u201cHow are you?\u201d;\u00a0\u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d;\u00a0\u201cHow are\u00a0we doing?\u201d; \u201cWhat upsets you?\u201d; \u201cWhat makes you happy?\u201d\u00a0<\/em>Doing this strengthens your connection, makes your partner feel special and nips any issues in the bud.<\/p>\n 2. Tell your partner something they did well \u2013<\/strong> It\u2019s not surprising that what goes wrong seems to have more of an impact on us that what goes well. Research shows that negative emotions are more easily retrieved from our brains and stick with us longer than positive emotions. In other words, we have to work harder to remember the good. Put in the extra effort\u2014make it a point to tell your partner something they did well or something you appreciate about them. Doing this will increase feelings of affection and esteem. Plus, it will pay off for you because reinforcing your partner\u2019s good behavior guarantees you\u2019ll get more of it.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To do: Communicate what you like about your partner such as <\/strong>\u201cThat really helped\u201d; \u201cI appreciate what you did for me\u201d; \u201cYou\u2019re such a hard worker\u201d; \u201cThat made me happy\u201d; \u201cWhat a good idea\u201d. <\/em>This will improve your communication, make your partner feel good about themselves and reinforce positive actions and emotions.<\/p>\n 3. Shake things up –<\/strong> You\u2019ve been together for awhile and have your routine down to a science. While structure is often efficient and comforting, the cost is a loss of spontaneity.\u00a0What\u2019s so good about spontaneity? Well, it triggers the excitement hormones in your brain: dopamine, pheromones and serotonin. These are the chemicals responsible for the \u201cfalling in love\u201d feeling. To release a torrent of those hormones, do something unexpected.<\/p>\n To do: Plan a surprise.<\/strong> Pick an activity neither one of you has done before. Be creative<\/strong> in the bedroom\u2013let your partner know that you\u2019d like to try something you are curious about. Doing this will inject some excitement and freshness into your relationship, stirring up interest for both of you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Therapist Advice: Revive Your Relationship – 3 Things To Do 1. Check-in \u2013 Most people will agree that the heightened excitement in the beginning of a relationship eventually settles into a more comfortable intimacy as the \u201cnewness\u201d wears off. Once you reach that comfortable stage, relationships tend to go on autopilot. Energy is put into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":358,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/731"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=731"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/731\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=731"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=731"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=731"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chappelltherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=731"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Jennifer Chappell Marsh, Chappell Therapy specializes in providing Couples Counseling and Marriage Therapy in San Diego. For a free consultation or to schedule an appointment, call 858-876-4104 or email me at: info@chappelltherapy.com<\/a><\/h5>\n
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