New Baby – Common Impact on Relationships:

“2 out of 3 couples experience a serious decline in the happiness of the relationship in the three years after the first baby arrives.”-Dr. John Gottman

Sleep deprivation

Sleep deprivation makes daily hassles more intense. In our relationships, we feel more emotionally out of control – we are more reactive, e.g. short fuse. This doesn’t mean the relationship is bad – just means you’re tired and going through a tremendous transition.

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Intense focus on baby’s needs

Birthing moms often tend to take on all responsibility for meeting baby’s needs. Non-birthing partner’s who do not have the opportunity to frequently touch/hold the newborn miss out on the bonding hormone. They tend to feel left out and respond by withdrawing from their babies and working more. This cycle leaves both parents feeling isolated and alone.

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Decrease in sex drives

Many birthing moms experience feelings of guilt and a sense that “something is wrong with me”. Non-birthing partners often feel undesired by their mate. In turn, they question their own attractiveness and “turn off” or “turn away” their feelings of desire.

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Shifting roles – additional duties/responsibilities

Partners may be so wrapped up in their own contributions that they do not see/acknowledge their partner’s efforts. Even though both parents are working much harder – they both feel unappreciated.

To Do: Prepare

Although nothing can fully prepare you for the transition of bringing a baby home, couples counseling can help. Couples with solid communication and conflict resolution skills weather this transition period more successfully than couples who struggle connecting with one another.