When someone is dealing with depression, it can lead their loved ones to feel helpless, angry, sad, and guilty. These feelings are normal. While you can’t control or necessarily “fix” your partner’s emotional status, there are things that you can do for both of you during this difficult time.
- Get educated – If you are concerned that your partner might be experiencing depression, it’s important to learn the signs and symptoms of depression along with the warning signs of worsening depression. I recommend visiting the National Institute of Mental Health’s Depression Resources.
- Talks to your partner – People suffering these symptoms sometimes don’t know that what they are experiencing is depression. If they do recognize it as depression, they may feel shame or hopeless to do anything about it. For these reasons, it’s important to approach this subject carefully. In a gentle, non-confrontational way – let him/her know that you are worried and what you have noticed. Reassure him/her that depression isn’t a sign of a personal flaw or weakness; it’s a treatable medical condition. Tell him/her that you are there for them.
- Encourage help – Encourage your loved one to seek mental health treatment. Offer to help him/her identify a good fit, go with them to appointments and attend couples counseling if necessary.
- Help yourself–Depression can wear you down if you don’t actively take care of yourself. As our airline attendants always tell us “you have to put on your oxygen mask first before assisting anyone else”.
- Remind yourself that your loved one’s depression isn’t personal. You are not to blame.
- Remember that while you can offer support, you cannot control what your loved one decides. You are not responsible. Recovery is ultimately in their hands.
- Don’t suffer in silence – talk to friends and family about what you are feeling. Be sure to continue gently communicating your feelings with your loved one.
- Keep your life on track. Do your best to make plans with friends and continue doing what makes you happy. Encourage your partner to join – if that’s not possible, go it alone or invite close friends.
*Note: Depression is a medical condition which is only diagnosable through a comprehensive assessment by a qualified health care clinician.
Chappell Therapy – Jennifer Chappell Marsh, San Diego Counselor specializes in provides Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families who want to improve their relationships. She also works with children and teens to foster a sense of empowerment. 2835 Camino Del Rio S., #120C, San Diego, CA 92108. 858-876-4104.